Regarding rape

Why are men raping women? I don’t think I understand this. To me, it feels that men are driven by their dick rather than logic. How is that even possible though?

This is not to say that women aren’t raping men, but the vast majority of rapes are carried through by men (I don’t know, but maybe 98% of all rapes?). If the percentage of men vs women raping is so high for men, does this mean that most men (even those who are not rapists) would take advantage of a situation if they can? And if that’s correct, the question is again: why? Why is sex so important to them? Sure, “men have needs”, but so have the women, and yet…

I like sex, and in fact I am usually the initiator of sexual conduct with my husband (yes, Pete, I hid the guns), but I would never force myself on to someone. They would probably die of suffocation anyway…

14 Comments »

Lonesome George wrote on October 11th, 2007 at 5:36 PM PST:

I wish my wife would be the initiator once in a while. I always get turned down so I just quit asking. Over the years: I’m tired; I gotta take the dogs out later; I’m waiting for the auction to end; the kids aren’t in bed yet; the kids aren’t home yet; the kids are home; The excuses go on and on and on. I just quit asking. I love her. I try to do everything I can for her. I take her out to dinner at least once a week, I provide a nice home for her so she don’t have to work outside the home. I like to buy her things. I’m nice to her. I don’t beat her, never have raised a hand against her. Neither one of us messes around on the other.


mikesum32 wrote on October 11th, 2007 at 7:27 PM PST:

Why are men raping women?

Yes, all men are rapists. Jesus christ ! Yes, men are driven by their dick rather than logic. Just ask a certain Senator about teh ghey bathroom sex.

The rest of have girlfriends or porn.

Lonesome George, your wife might need a little testosterone, as it is more or less responsible for the sex drive of men and women.


Ludovic Hirlimann wrote on October 11th, 2007 at 11:08 PM PST:

That’s the way human nature is – the difference comes from the very low level of goals men and women have in life. The goal is the same the way to achieve it is *very* different. The goal is to procreate (wasn’t very difficult to guess), to do that you need to be two. In the couple de decision making is done by the woman – she decides with whom she is going to have a baby. So the deal for the woman is to make the right choice so the baby she gives birth to can continue exanpding life and genes. For the male the situation is we need to deliver (whom we do to does count, but delivering is very important) our genes, so we need to make sure that we can with a maximum of woman – this gives us higher chances to be choosen.
That’s why we think with our dicks.


Ivan wrote on October 12th, 2007 at 11:58 AM PST:

There are two types of man, I once read. Type 1 spreads its genes as often as possible, without taking care of the offspring. Success is guaranteed by the numbers. Type 2 spreads its genes in a very selective way, and puts a lot of energy in taking care of wife and offspring. Success is guaranteed by taking care.
Both are successful, but type 2 is more socially accepted, and more pleasant for women and offspring.
Rape is per definition a violent crime, and can never be tolerated.


Phil wrote on October 13th, 2007 at 1:59 AM PST:

My own feelings are that men are brought up in a society that still uses women as sex objects on a regular basis. Rather like a kind of softcore pornography. This seeps into the psyche of the average male to a greater or lesser extent and colours their reaction to and views of women. Of course despite this mental handicap most men don’t rape women however there are always a few exceptions to the rule – so no I don’t think most men would take advantage of a situation.


meek wrote on October 13th, 2007 at 3:31 AM PST:

You’d have to be a man to understand. 🙂

I’m a man. And yes SEX is a BIG DEAL.


desNotes wrote on October 13th, 2007 at 7:00 AM PST:

Rape is about power and control, not sexuality. Yes, the majority of rapists are men but the majority of men are not rapists. In my life of 54 years no one I know has been a rapist, despite being in situations where it could have happened.

What Phil said is correct also: society does still consider women as sex objects. However, this is no reason or excuse for men to rape with impunity.


Michael wrote on October 13th, 2007 at 7:19 AM PST:

From what I have heard, most serial rapists do not rape to satisfy their own sexual desires; rape is used to inflict pain and suffering on others–a hate crime because the man has some severe mental problem with females or feminity in general.

As for men who commit rape occasionally, they also have mental problems. Most men do not think this way. I would never force a woman to have sex with me. A man who cannot keep his impulses in check is bad enough, but a man who uses barbituants (e.g. date rape) or something similar is even worse. Sex must be mutually consensual, and both partners must have the ability to stop it at any point.

As for why most rape is committed by men, there are a variety of factors that make rape easier for men to commit than for women to commit. First, men tend to be physically stronger and more aggressive than women. This is part of how the male body works, so it is neither right nor wrong. But it does put women at a disadvantage in terms of being the assailant or the victim in a rape.

Second, men tend to be more opportunistic about sex. If a reasonably attractive woman started forcing herself on a man, he would likely become excited and happy about the prospect. (And if he was married or had some other reason not to want sex with a random attractive female, he would likely have to *fight* his own arousal to avoid enjoying the experience forced upon him.) Alchohol and other drugs are regularly used to make even unattractive women seem attractive, so even if a woman got a man drunk and tied him up, he’d probably not consider it rape after the fact.

Rape is partly a mental thing involving domination and subjugation. In *theory* a woman who was cornered and knew what was about to happen could take control of the situation and “decide” to have sex with him–purely as a way to avoid/lessen the psychological trauma that accompanies rape. But (a) this does not make rape in any way shape or form the woman’s fault, (b) she will still take a hit psychologically, and (c) this scenario of the woman taking control is not at all likely to happen in the real world due to the naturally closer ties between female emotional and physical satisfaction. Besides, rapists do not necessarily wear condoms…or have healthy, reasonably attractive bodies.

Third, a subtle distinction exists between the male and female roles in sexual intercourse. Women do not actually initiate sex in the *direct* sense. The female part of sexual intercourse is in arousing the male and generating interest in him penetrating her. Without male arousal, penetration is impossible. As a result, no woman can force a man into her body. The most a female rapist can do in terms of intercourse is to cause him to ejaculate prematurely, which is more like mild frustration (that every man feels at least once in his life) than any kind of physical violation. Causing this in a male minor *could* have psychological consequences, but then again adolescant male fantasies typically revolve around older women coming on strong, so…

Obviously, this does not have anything to do with being superior or inferior–women are just different.

Additionally, these three gender differences makes it difficult for male rapists to understand the problems of rape–and the damage they are causing women.

But to answer your question, Eugenia, I think the fact that most rapists are male is due to already-messed-up people finding an opportunity that is infeasible for females to perform. I remember hearing somewhere that females do dominate other kinds of crimes. IIRC, upwards of 75% of poisonings are done by women. Poison is just more suited to women because it is based on subtlety (a natural female advantage) instead of strength (a natural male advantage).

(Of course, there are always men and women who are exceptions to these “rules,” but we are speaking in terms of averages and statistics.)

Most men will not take advantage of a woman. The idea of finding a woman in a compromising situation *is* arousing to a man, but only a terrible man who would rape a pretty girl just because someone left her tied up in a public place as a prank. (And that would be a very stupid prank, indeed, because if a rape (or murder) did occur, then the person pulling the prank would be suspected of the crime.)

That said, forceful sex is pretty good. But that is role-playing in which the man is intimately concerned with the woman’s state of mind (i.e. “animal” sex). Done properly, women get *very* aroused. In any good form of sex, the man must *always* give the woman some way to stop the process if she is having second thoughts. By contrast, rape is a man taking advantage of a means to hurt a woman or just getting a cheap thrill while ignoring the pain and trauma he causes the woman. Night and day difference, there.

IMO serious sex-related crimes like raping adults/minors and molesting minors should be capital offenses (i.e. death penalty). I think I heard on CSI–and I know that CSI’s “facts” must be taken with a barrel of salt, but still–that serial pedophiles on average hurt upwards of thirty children before being caught. These crimes can scar the victims for life.

Moreover, if I were one of those self-interested males who think primarily about sex and fear commitment–and I am NOT that way–anything that would make a woman hate/fear sexual intercourse would be a REALLY bad idea, generally speaking.


Michael wrote on October 13th, 2007 at 7:32 AM PST:

Unfortunately, all my em dashes were turned into en dashes, which makes some parts of my previous post confusing.


Nat wrote on October 13th, 2007 at 11:13 AM PST:

As a female you can never understand, the entire purpose of a human male is reproduction, that’s how the gender has evolved, it’s only function is as a portable insemination device.

Any hetrosexual man presented with a viable female will seek copulation, it’s a binary equation for us. Either the female is considered a viable mate or not, if viable, mate, if not, move on and seek mate.

It’s a function of the species, the rapist streak is a sucessful evolutionary trait.


Alexander Orlov wrote on October 14th, 2007 at 6:48 AM PST:

Have you ever read about anthropology? Do it and you will have to rethink your thoughts and get illuminated.

Men are not driven by their “dick” but by their genes. Women too. Why are women so obsessed by such stupid stuff like shoes and bags? Right… anthropology…, genes…

An now the final answer and a little bit educational development aid for my neighbors beyond the big pond: Men and women are both interested in maximizing their reproductive success. For women the best way to do it, is to choose only one man who takes care of the children he begot. But this is not the best way for men to maximize their reproductive success. For men it is to have sexual intercourse with as much women as possible. And if these women became pregnant it is “their job” to take care of the children. Of course it is better for children if they have both parents taking care of them but in in this case the quantity rather than quality matters (for men). It is just a LOGICAL consideration between “loosing time” taking care of the children and beget new children. And finally the “Why are men raping women?” stuff: Well, not all men are able to seduce women. Therefore they choose the other LOGICAL and easy way… But there is also a third group of men, which neither are able to seduce women nor to rape them: Nerds.

Btw the above do not reflect necessary my personal attitude.

With regards from the non-creationist side of the big pond.
Amen!


Stephen wrote on October 16th, 2007 at 8:21 AM PST:

To me, it feels that men are driven by their dick rather than logic.

Uh…

How is that even possible though?

Precisely what I was wondering. Had you meant “their dicks” (plural)? Or had you meant to suggest that all men collectively share a single dick somehow?

If the percentage of men vs women raping is so high for men, does this mean that most men (even those who are not rapists) would take advantage of a situation if they can?

Whoa, speaking of a lack of logic… How in the world do you jump from pointing out the relative numbers of men & women who commit rape, to the nonsensical conclusion that “most men (even those who are not rapists) would take advantage of a situation if they can?”

That would be offensively-sexist if it weren’t so absurdly simplistic. It’s no different than if I were to “ask” why all women are compelled to make sweeping, absolutist, intellectually-lazy generaliztions about men. Although that statement would at least have the merit of being obvious irony.


This is the admin speaking...
Eugenia wrote on October 16th, 2007 at 11:13 AM PST:

Stephen, first of all: give me a break.

Second, these are QUESTIONS I am asking, I am not pointing fingers. However, my questions are not afar from the truth. Yes, the absolute numbers do speak of a generalized behavior — even if that might not be true for you.

As for “dicks” vs “dick”, I am not a native english speaker, and so typos will always exist on my post.


Stephen wrote on October 18th, 2007 at 4:43 PM PST:

Stephen, first of all: give me a break.

Ah yes, pardon me – I forgot the golden rule of pop-feminism: only sexism from _men_ directed towards _women_ is objectionable. Sexism from _women_ towards _men_, on the other hand, is actually endearing (don’t ask me how…) and must always be greeted with a hearty “right on, sister!”

Mea culpa. Mea MAXA mea culpa.

these are QUESTIONS I am asking, I am not pointing fingers.

They’re pretty damn’d pointed “QUESTIONS.” And you don’t exactly spend a great deal of time examining them, before simply assuming the answer to be “yes” – and then using that assumption as a further premise for whatever point you were trying to make.

It’s not really a question when you’ve already presumed the answer, is it?

However, my questions are not afar from the truth.

Case in point…

Yes, the absolute numbers do speak of a generalized behavior — even if that might not be true for you.

I suppose you’ve heard the expression “All generalizations are inherently false, including this one”?

And statistical generalizations are one thing. But in your post, you appear to essentially be saying “most rapists are men; therefore, all men are potential rapists.” That’s downright sophistry – akin to saying “a high percentage of violent crimes are committed by black people; therefore black people are all violent criminals.”


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