Random Stuff, Part 36

I feel like randomly ranting today, haven’t done this in a while. Soooo….

– I haven’t watched actual TV in months. Just a few Netflix movies here and there. I find everything on TV boring and stupid. The last good show was SGU, and before that LOST. TV (and especially sci-fi) becomes worse and worse as time goes by, as I wrote before. I’ve lost all hope for a truly deep sci-fi show.

– I stopped following indie music as closely lately. I need a new hobby. Something to do with art though. Maybe I should just shut up and finish my sci-fi movie script (yeah, the one that will never get shot).

– I run a few miles a day, almost every day. I also follow the Paleo-Ketogenic diet, but weight stays put for the most part. I’m close to giving up forever, and never restrict myself from food again. I’ve lost only 20 lbs since I started Paleo 6 months ago, others lose that weight in just 2 months time without moving a finger. The upside of a Paleo-keto diet though is mental clarity (even more so than plain Paleo). I has it. I know what I want, and most importantly, I know how to get it.

– I’m thinking of trying bungee jumping (yes, that’s my mental clarity talking). I spent years of fearing heights, but Paleo-keto was able to mostly alleviate this (obviously a mental) condition too. It’d be like giving the finger to my brain. Weeeeeeee…

– Do you believe in a “calling”? Meaning, that you feel compelled to do something, even if it might be bad for you? Kind of like, life asking you to do something, because it’s the only way you push yourself forward and evolve as a person? For example, it’s how some people might leave college or their families and move to LA and live homeless, while trying to succeed as artists, just because they felt an inner “calling”. Well, I’ve been feeling this in the last month, but of course it’s not about moving to LA to live homeless. It’s about something else. I’ve been fighting it, because it wouldn’t be good for me if I failed. But if I don’t try, I’d never know for sure. These thoughts have been consuming me in the last month, and it’s the reason I haven’t blogged much. So far I’m steering clear of it though.

– In the mornings, after I wake up and turn on my laptop, while the CNN page is loading, there’s always the same wishful-thinking thought on the back of my mind. A headline, reading: “Massive triangular UFO over San Francisco – Ongoing“.

– I’m going to buy the iPad 3, since I don’t have a tablet (I held off from buying any all these years). I hope this time its webcam is HD. I wish it would have a built-in SDXC slot too with support for Canon h.264 files, but it won’t. The iPad could actually be a great “proofing” device on location.

– Some sort of Artificial Intelligence is coming big time these days with Siri/VoiceActions, it seems. It’s nice to see this, given I’ve worked in the field 15 years ago. It always was one of my favorite domains in technology. In fact, it might be my MOST favorite part of technology. Maybe because it’s by definition sci-fi.

– Haven’t shot any new video in months. I sent a few requests to some bands, none came back to me. I obviously suck. Even if I shoot/edit their videos for free.

– My mom in Greece is pathetic. I love her, but she is pathetic. Today she told me on skype that she wanted to buy new clothes in order to look… “successful” to others, for having a son-in-law who works at Google. I mean, that’s the definition of a small-minded person, right there. Not that I ever expected more of her, she only had 6 years of schooling in her life. This is not meant to be degrading for JBQ, mind you, since getting employed at Google is NOT an easy feat. But damn, if we were to be proud for nothing we personally did, then we all deserve a supernova’s radiation passing through our bodies and blowing us to bits.

– For the record, I’m not proud of anything I ever did. Ok, maybe my time with OSNews had its glorious moments around 2003-2005, but apart of that, I don’t think anything I did ever mattered. Which is why I have this “calling” calling me all day and all night. Or, I’m just in middle-age crisis and I need to wait it out to pass. Pass the bourbon.

14 Comments »

Paulo wrote on February 29th, 2012 at 3:22 PM PST:

Well I think your blog matters and I like it, even thou I’m no big shot, your blog is intertaining and sometimes informative, so i may be one grain of sand but you are doing something important for the internet community, and that’s something you should be proud of.


Chris Simmons wrote on February 29th, 2012 at 4:03 PM PST:

Aw snap. You said exactly how I’ve felt for most of my life. I’ve found that the best way to deal with the feelings of a ‘calling’ is to just go fucking do it, even if you fail. Its all good.

Love you Eugenia! You’ve always been an inspiration.

-c


Michael C. wrote on February 29th, 2012 at 4:56 PM PST:

“The upside of a Paleo-keto diet though is mental clarity (even more so than plain Paleo). I has it.” – What about opulence?


Sex Mahoney wrote on February 29th, 2012 at 5:09 PM PST:

Everyone goes through a crisis of faith, even if they’re not particularly religious. Moments of doubt and such. This winter especially. It doesn’t matter if it mattered. Achievement is its own reward. Pride obscures it. Finish that script and make a movie.


Yanni wrote on February 29th, 2012 at 7:14 PM PST:

Your blog has meant a lot to me over the years as well. You were a big help with the HV20 and I love hearing stories of Greece because I’ve yet to make it there.

Don’t kid yourself about the weight loss. 20 pounds in 6 months is very successful. That’s 40 pounds in a year. That’s a lot. My brother lost 80 in a year and a half and he now has all kinds of health issues like hernias, stomach ulcers, acid reflux, etc. He stopped eating healthy just to lose the weight and now he’s suffering.


Ivan wrote on March 1st, 2012 at 10:39 AM PST:

Eugenia,
I too ‘only’ lost 20lbs, but since starting the diet, I have never felt better. No more chronic muscle pains, I mean.
You out running, that is something I never would have thought you doing, only a year ago.
If you feel bored and you need a calling, why don’t you do some charity work? There are so many people in need out there, young or old.
Keep going, ok?


This is the admin speaking...
Eugenia wrote on March 1st, 2012 at 10:51 AM PST:

Thank you all for the great comments, appreciated!

Ivan, charity is one of the things I want to do, but I can’t do so without a CA driver’s license (there was no point getting a driver’s license before, I couldn’t leave the house). It’s on my todo list for this Spring tho. 🙂

I taught 5 free courses of videography classes for kids last month btw, but that was local (I walked to the class).


NiX wrote on March 1st, 2012 at 11:31 AM PST:

Been following you since… 2006… maybe. Nevertheless, one straight question: what do you think about suicide? I mean… I’m not implying anything but I have a clue that we’d agree on that matter.

At times I look back to my life and wonder if anything really matters at all.


This is the admin speaking...
Eugenia wrote on March 1st, 2012 at 12:31 PM PST:

NiX, regarding suicide: I believe people should be legally and religiously free to take their own lives if they want to (and I’m pro-euthanasia too). But this doesn’t mean that they should.

If you remember from my first blog post in September about finding the “cure” for my ailments, I mentioned that I wanted to kill myself for not being able to live. I lost 10 years of my life being sick. So I had situational depression (I don’t believe it was clinical though). All this went away within the first month of going Paleo. And on Paleo-ketogenic, where ketones/fat run the brain instead of glucose, I’m even happier, and with a lot more mental clarity (I wasn’t joking above when I mentioned that). ADD went away too. If you’re feeling depressed, definitely try Paleo-keto, even if you don’t have weight to lose.


Larry Jones wrote on March 1st, 2012 at 3:45 PM PST:

Nix – If you have an incurable illness and you are in unbearable, debilitating pain, you could CONSIDER suicide. In all other situations remember: You might live for a hundred years, and you may accomplish things you haven’t even imagined at this stage of your life. Also, there are people who love you who will be devastated to lose you. Some of them will blame themselves. Be careful. You can’t change your mind. Look at Eugenia. She may have thought she wanted to die, but she found a way to improve her health and feel good. What if she’d killed herself a year ago?

And Eugenia, your writing has been a great help and inspiration to me, technically and emotionally. Thanks!

(Make the movie. You’re smart enough to write around the stuff that’s too expensive to produce. It’s your ideas that will give it life, not the effects.)


John_S wrote on March 1st, 2012 at 6:17 PM PST:

There’s nothing wrong with you Eugenia. You are perfectly fine just as you are. Not crazy, not weird, not strange. Nothing you have to do or be. Nothing is missing or broken. Just sit back and enjoy the movie.


Monty wrote on March 2nd, 2012 at 6:55 AM PST:

Hi Eugenia,
Just wanted to say, I love your blog, you are a bright shining star in the tech world, creative, able to sensibly speak your mind, and you make great videos also. Just because some bands don’t want to take advantage of your skills, doesn’t mean you suck. Sometimes you have to charge a lot of money for people to place a value on you… kind of like your mom wanting to look succesfull to live up to having an important son in law… personally I’d place more value in having you as my daughter, hopefully she does. Thanks for continuing on with the blog and thanks for venting, its a necessity in life to blow off the steam, especially when so much in this world is getting crazier and crazier. Its the small things that make it worthwhile, not to sound like I’m repeating what everyone else says, but I find as I get older that having the time to do simple things, like enjoy a shower, smell the forest on a short walk, ride a bicycle…. connect me with the reality of my world…. as a trucker, the world flies by me every night… and everyone is flying around me on their own pathways. Sometimes you have to get out, shut off the engine, and listen to the silence. Capturing that, takes on the essence of art…. and you have that ability. Keep up the excellent work. Btw, wondering if you’ve ever read Eat to Live by Dr. Fuhrman, and wha you thought of his book (which has been updated in a newer edition that I’m reading):-)


Glenn wrote on March 2nd, 2012 at 8:45 AM PST:

The iPad 2 loads video files from the S95 with the camera connection kit, so I can’t see the iPad 3 being any different. Although I’m guessing it will already shoot 1080P like the iPhone4S. If that ends up being the case, it will be possible to shoot video at 48mbps on there with the Filmic pro app. I’ve been testing that on my iPad with the maximum 720p bitrate of 24mbps, and the image quality is really quite impressive!


Mirko wrote on March 4th, 2012 at 6:59 AM PST:

You already achieved a lot in your life, probably is not what society considers milestones but just the fact that you expose yourself in the web (positively) or you are trying to get a grip on your health is something good you have already done. Working on our self is definitely a big achievement. Now that you see things clear it is the time to use your sense of humor 24/7…because it takes a lot of sense of humor to avoid to get really bitter when you see things clear…

For instance just suggest your mother to wear a business dress and walk around in the village with a briefcase and discuss with her fellow citizen about the wonders of Google. She may even take some sample of DNA for the Google eugenics program…


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