Review: Madonna’s Hard Candy

Madonna is going hip-hop and 80’s funk with her latest album. She obviously got a bit jealous of the success of younger names like Rihanna, Fergie and Nelly Furtado and so she employed in this album producers that have worked with these singers, like Timberlake, Timbaland, Kanye West, and Pharrell. One by one, the songs of “Hard Candy“:

1. Candy Shop
A very primitive beat in my opinion. Repetitive and primitive. It doesn’t seem to excel at any point. I would have not included that song if that was my album.
Rating: 6/10

2. 4 Minutes to Save the World
The first single of the album is a good deal. It sticks easily under your tongue, and it’s quite dancy too. It gets a bit old after a few listenings though. Still, the 5th best song in the album.
Rating: 7.5/10

3. Give It 2 Me
The fourth best song in the album. Very trance, and with a dose of funk too. If this song doesn’t get you out of your chair to dance, none of the other songs in the album will. I somewhat dislike the rap part of the song though near the middle.
Rating: 8/10

4. Heartbeat
Except the chorus, which is nice, the rest of the song is un-singable. It feels like a test, that was thrown together just because they had a good chorus and needed to do something with it.
Rating: 6/10

5. Miles Away
The second best song on the album. It has atmosphere, it makes you “feel it” what she sings about. The only song with a heart and soul in the whole album. Possibly because she sings about a personal matter of hers so she feels it too when she sings.
Rating: 8.5/10

6. She’s Not Me
Terrible. Starts kinda ok, gets you acquainted with a disco/funk sound, and towards the middle it becomes weird — to say the least. Like it’s a different song. It just changes out of the blue, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Second worst song in the album.
Rating: 4.5/10

7. Incredible
Another primitive sound and beat. It’s listenable, but again, towards the middle changes its beat and it’s like it’s a different song too. It’s just weird. Yuck.
Rating: 5/10

8. Beat Goes On
A good disco/funk sound. No ugly surprises here. It really reminds me of the early ’80s disco songs. It’s a good track, but nothing special I can say special about it. It’s a good filler.
Rating: 7/10

9. Dance 2Night
Like the previous song, it’s a good listenable funk song. Pretty well done too, which makes you feel that you are back in another decade. Older people will feel nostalgic with this beat.
Rating: 7/10

10. Spanish Lesson
Worst song in the whole album. It’s a mass instrument mess. I don’t feel it at all. In reality, songs #6 and #7 are worse, but this beat actually had a potential and it seems that got destroyed during the production. And I can’t really forgive that.
Rating: 4/10

11. Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You
Best song in the whole album. It has a melody, it’s not random beats put together than some of her other songs. It has a melody and a rhythm, and doesn’t surprise you negatively.
Rating: 9/10

12. Voices
A very good song, third best in the whole album. It also has a grand melody, and some interesting lyrics too. “Who is the master and who is the slave” to “are you walking the dog or the dog is walking you?”. Good stuff.
Rating: 8/10

Overall, the album has 5 good songs, 2 “ok” songs, and 5 songs that range from mediocre to terrible. Compared to her previous album, “Confessions on a dance floor” (rating: 7.50/10), this is not as a strong of a release. Heck, some of her unreleased songs that never saw the light of day are better than some of these songs. Still, not a bad album compared to most other albums out there.

Overall Rating: 6.7/10

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