Prejudice

Someone said that I am rude (not the first time, of course). Thing is, I am rude in general. But NOT on the specific case. But people always have prejudice against others and they over-read comments in the future if they have caught you once to actually be rude.

But despite that, I won’t stop being who I am and always second-thinking every move of mine just so I make sure I don’t get misunderstood again in the future. That would just not be honest. And if I am one thing for sure, that’s “honest” (no, not “self-righteous bitch”).

My “straight-forwardness” and “to the point” comments towards others often puts me in trouble, but I believe this is my best quality. If you look like a stuffed potato in your new dress, be assured that I will be the one to point it out to you point blank, and I’d do that exactly because I care. Would it “suck the fun out” of it? It probably would. But at least you get one person who’s not afraid to be honest with you and not laugh behind your back.

23 Comments »

jeff wrote on February 7th, 2008 at 7:43 PM PST:

I personally grew up with woman teachers, yet in the working world its mainly men, so I don’t mind at all a little bitchiness to remind me of those blissful years in my youth. Hate to play the gender card, but I can guarantee you It plays a big role with men.


Diego wrote on February 7th, 2008 at 8:04 PM PST:

Eugenia, your straight-forwardness”, and “to the point” comments are not really so. If you believe that’s your best quality then commit suicide already.
Your bitterness and angriness towards everything that does not share your black, and white point of view is absolute madness.
I am as straight-forward as you are, and I generally don’t give a shit about people like you. however,you are one annoying person because you are an intelligent woman and you (I presume) are an educated person. Therefore people like me expects more from you even though we know you don’t care.
I suggest that you seek help when trying to communicate your ideas to other people.
I’m an civil engineer so I’m pretty sure I lack social skills as well, but at least when I find someone whose thoughts I don’t share with I wont offend them.


jeff wrote on February 7th, 2008 at 8:08 PM PST:

OMG I’m a civil engineer also Diego. Are you single? lol


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Eugenia wrote on February 7th, 2008 at 8:09 PM PST:

Diego: booohooohooo.

Thanks for the psychic evaluation. The no-shit aspect of me is just who I am. I grew up in a place where we were not afraid to speak out our mind. I expect nothing less from the people around me, so thanks for your also straight up comment.

As for offending people whose opinions I don’t agree with, this is not always true. The times that I DO offend people because of that, are probably the times that I think that these people are complete idiots and they have it coming. I don’t like idiots (in the way I perceive them as such, of course). Straight up. Feel free to feel the same for me.

The other thing you should be careful of before you stick your big fat finger into my eye, is the fact that I am not a native english speaker. Greek is NOT a gentle language full of “please” and “you’re welcome” as German or French is, for example. Therefore, when I translate in my mind from Greek to English, I use the words and sentences as I would use them in Greek. The output is not always coming out as it would from a native speaker or even any other Northern European speaker. But people forget that too.


jeff wrote on February 7th, 2008 at 8:22 PM PST:

to be honest I’m just here praying for you to tell me more about Video editing and I also love how you don’t use mac software all the time. I honestly don’t give a damn about your past, everyone has troubles about that… Focus on the future, and stay here in American and be happy and successful. I’d like to see more filming from you, you seem to know a lot but you haven’t produced a lot.


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Eugenia wrote on February 7th, 2008 at 8:23 PM PST:

I am thinking of shooting some video next week, and I have 1-2 video editing posts coming up. I haven’t produced a lot yet because I don’t travel a lot…


jeff wrote on February 7th, 2008 at 9:23 PM PST:

I just want to make money and take a mini-retirement, and need to create a video (documentary or instruction) which will generate that 10k – 20k income to fund that year of retirement.


Jim wrote on February 7th, 2008 at 10:13 PM PST:

Well on dv.com they used to call me the worst Apple basher on the world wide web all because I wouldn’t bow down to the apple god. I don’t get it? all an os does is run software and what you can do with software interests me.
I don’t use windows software because the rest of the world does, for me, when I look at all the free software that is usable and the pay stuff is affordable and the computers I can afford and so am productive, this all is a tool for me.
for me the challenge is to learn how to use this stuff.
I am not a computer professional nor did I grow up with a computer, in fact when I was growing up, they didn’t have monitors, but data cards and tape for storage and computers were in big rooms that were dust free and air conditioned.
so I am having fun.
I also look fwd to Eugenia’s comments on Sony Vegas and the Canon HV20, If an apple software was as affordable and if the choice of software was available then I would gravitate toward using apple, but there are reasons why over 95% over the world spurns apple computers


Brendan wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 12:55 AM PST:

I found your site whilst looking for some Vegas editing info.

I come back to you site due to your straight talking.


Ricardo Ramalho wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 1:13 AM PST:

Your ‘no-shit’ attitude is cool. Keep it.


Dimitar Uzunov wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 2:06 AM PST:

Guys, I suppose that you are native English speakers, Eugenia IMHO (I’m not a linguist and my native language is Bulgarian – a “rude” language also) is completely right. While she is expected to respect the culture, there really is a culture clash thing happening that is very hard to avoid.

In English you shouldn’t say “Do this”, but “I think you should do this”. The first phrase is considered bossy and rude and the second normal. As far I understand in English you should never give “orders” or make absolute statements like “quality was not very good” – even if its perfectly acceptable to do so in many languages. You should note that this is your opinion and its not meant to insult.

I don’t have the pleasure of knowing Greek, French or German, but in Bulgarian and many other languages it is perfectly normal to give “orders” – both speakers understand that the one that is giving the “order” is not giving an ultimatum and with no anger whatsoever. Also repeating “IMO” or “I think” every sentence sounds stupid, and would make you look uncertain – when I’m speaking I am supposed to voice my opinion, not anybodys else.

In real-life conversations the foreigner might also smile at you, speak softly and nod – you can get confused!

Anyway even nodding isn’t the same everywhere! In Bulgaria, for example, when we nod we mean “no” and with shaking the head we mean “yes”! To make matters worse for foreigners some people automatically switch codes when their talking with foreigners! So my advise is avoid nodding and shaking the head in Bulgaria.

Once two Russian girls, on holliday in Sozopol a town on the Black sea coast, asked a bus driver if his bus goes to Burgas (35km away, a Black Sea city). The guy didn’t look at them and just nodded. So the girls got on the bus and he took them to Petrich, a c which is 500km away from the coast, near the border with Macedonia and Greece.


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Eugenia wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 2:28 AM PST:

Dimitar, exactly. Thanks for the post. Even my own husband sometimes misunderstands me and thinks I am bossy, even when I am not meaning to be. It’s indeed a clash of language characteristics. In Greece, you also say “do this” even if it’s not really an order, it’s just simplification and straight-forwardness. The “bossy” part of it can be determined ONLY by the tone of the voice, not by the words used. But on the internet, you can’t really hear a tone of a voice…


Stefan wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 4:53 AM PST:

It would be interesting to know if all this “sugar coating” talk used in the west is a result of the politically correctness practiced here recently. Dimitar and Eugenia, you sure have a point. It surely feels like everybody here is on Prozac, all polite and pink 🙂 Wich is not bad after all.


desnotes wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 5:08 AM PST:

Eugenia,

I am someone who is sensitive to the tone and languages used to criticize. That said, I have never found you to be rude or to criticize without justification. Your critique of teh video in questions was positive in that you explained what was wrong with the work. If you had said something like, “It sucks” then that would have been rude. A few posts ago when talking about Obama you said, “…while when I see Clinton I see a mule-minded bitch — much like of what I see in the mirror.” I was ready to blast you for that until I read the last part of the sentence referring to yourself.

The internet is full of trolls, anonymous and otherwise. You are not anything close. Keep up the criticisms as one cannot grow if they think they have already achieved perfection.

desNotes


memsom wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 6:36 AM PST:

I think the main problem with your comment was thet it was entirely negative. It’s got nothing to do with the words or phrasing, but probably is cultural as pointed out above. I think you colud have said:

“I liked your video. I loved the composition. One thing bothers me though: the quality was not very good, there seems to be a lot of ghosting in the video. Which video editor did you use? ”

and got away with it. Would that have been against your normal way of speaking? I think, if you need to be negative,m say something positive too. Being completely negative is what got the other guys back up.

Culture is dificult. UK culture and US culture is extremely close, but we still have differences. Americans insist of saying “Your welcome” after a being thanked, like “I really enjoyed that meal, thank you for cooking me it”, reply: “Your welcome.” We just don’t do that – or if we do it sounds false. Humour – sacrasm plays a big role, and irony, in our humour. Americans have a really hard time with that.

I guess the phrase “if you can’t say anything positive, don’t say anything at all” might be worth memorising? 😉


Dimitar Uzunov wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 6:41 AM PST:

Stefan, I think the opposite could be true: political correctness being influenced by this form of politeness. PC behaviour is pretty specific and “suggest; don’t order” could be applied to any topic.


Stefan wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 7:19 AM PST:

Dimitar, what I was trying to say is that all that is more a function of culture and not syntax. See French for example, for centuries the language of diplomacy because of the people that spoke it and their cultural upbringing.


Eric Anderson wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 8:24 AM PST:

This has nothing to do with political correctness or language barriers. My parents taught me “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.” It’s about tact – something of which you have no concept. I have wasted enough time on this. I you get something out of this – otherwise, revel in being what you call “straight-forward”.


Jacob Munoz wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 9:02 AM PST:

Wow Mr Anderson, for someone that’s “wasted enough time on this” you’re sure wasting lots of time. Considering the video site HAS a comment section is so people can COMMENT – Gawd forbid some poor misguided fool would think to make a comment. But you just went on and on and on about how some little bit of constructive criticism was rude and inconsiderate and (waaaaah waaaaaahh baby want bottle! waaaaaah)….

“If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.”

My mother told me:

“Say what you mean, or shut the hell up.”

..and for the record, I’m not a mule-minded bitch like Eugenia – I’m a self-righteous asshead. 😉

Eugenia, you rock!


Ivan wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 10:42 AM PST:

It definitely is a a cultural thing. I’ve known Eugenia for quite a while now, and she’s always been respectful. My advice: Use the hamburger principle: introduce by saying something nice, move on to the criticism, and finish with something nice again. That should do for English and American hypocrites…


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Eugenia wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 12:19 PM PST:

Eric, all I can say is: read the thread on HV20. It’s the same as mine pretty much. The reason is, we come from a forum about the HV20 that gives feedback. Maybe on vimeo this was interpreted as having no tact, but thing is, we come from a place (including the videographer) where such comments are a daily standard.


Dimitar Uzunov wrote on February 8th, 2008 at 12:20 PM PST:

Mr. Anderson.. did you write something nice that I missed in the above comment? Would you be so kind to point me to it? Or maybe you are going to write something nice now? I really wish to know how children should be raised, can you please share something else your mother told you? I really liked how you used curved quotes in your comment.

Please, reply soon.


Jim wrote on February 13th, 2008 at 11:14 AM PST:

You know I think sometimes the readers miss the point of this blog, it says Eugenia’s Rants and Raves, without going to a dictionary explanation of rants and raves, there is no excuse to be critical if anyone Rants or Raves on this blog considering its title.
Maybe some day I will get excited and say something provocative that others can take issue, but today I am the peacemaker and hope we can all just get along or get a long (whip)


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