We don’t really watch American Idol in our home. It’s too housewif-y for my taste, does not represent me at all and the (usually R&B) songs they pick are boring. However, we do watch the qualification round, simply because they are funny. The qualification round has nothing to do with the normal episodes because you get to see all the retarded wannabes that think that they can sing and go in front of the camera to make fool of themselves and their families.

Look, I love karaoke clubs. You go there to laugh, and when you go up to the stage, you know that you can’t sing, but you do it for the fun of it. But in American Idol’s qualifications, you get thousands (and I mean thousands) of stupid kids that actually truly believe that they can sing. I mean, some of the young people who showed up in Seattle looked like retards and they should have never be allowed to go there. Do I sound cruel to you? Do I sound like a snob little prick? Well, if that’s how you call an honest person, then that’s what I am.

“Know thyself” is something that all people should learn instead of what usually American kids are taught: “believe that you can do it and you will”. Self-confidence is a good thing, but not when it’s not realistic. “I am the next American Idol” some of these people said with confidence that can break steel. WHAT? Some looked, danced and sounded like they were the product of a birth defect.

I know my own limitations. I don’t try to sing on national television when I know that I sound like a donkey with a hiccup. In fact, each time I open my mouth to sing at home my husband leaves the room, do I need a louder feedback than this? And I know that I can’t win any beauty or even Lego contest either.

And then they say that Simon is rude and a jerk. Simon is the only person with his screws still screwed on. You see, Simon has a higher level of comparison than the rest. For example, “normal” for Simon is when a person can actually sing. While for Paula and Randy “normal” is when a person can barely sing. I feel the same when I review products. For me, “normal” is when the reviewed app or OS actually works as expected and as advertised. Anything worse than this (e.g. a few bugs or crashes), makes me get hay fever. And it shows on my articles. Being ‘brutally honest’ ™ is the right thing to do.

And BTW, that white-haired alien that appeared tonight needs to learn to wear a fucking bra. She looked like an alien cow everytime she was walking with her breasts marching in front of her: 1-2, 1-2, march… I have large breasts too, but when I am in front of people I don’t let them “free in the air”.

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