Jack Bauer facts

– When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.
– The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
– If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.
– Jack Bauer’s calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
– When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyones lines are translated except for Jack’s. The reason for this, nobody speaks for Jack Bauer.
– Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment.
– There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.
– Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
– When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
– 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
– A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.
– Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
– Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
– Jack needed a well-earned holiday after season 5. Drugged, captured, beaten and tortured in a cargo hall surrounded by Chinese agents eager for revenge is just his preferred method of travel – otherwise he tends to get bored on long trips.
– Jack Bauer doesn’t have a firewall on his PC. He has a Bauerwall. It’s basically just a JPEG of Jack Bauer. No virus has ever attacked Jack Bauer’s PC. Ever.
– Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can’t believe that pussy went to the hospital first.
– Jack Bauer doesn’t speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
– The truth may hurt, but it doesn’t hurt as much as Jack Bauer.
– Don’t ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He’ll explain in the car.
– Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: “Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day.”
– Jack Bauer has never caught a cold. How do we know? Colds still exist.
– The “Smoothie” was invented when Jack Bauer needed information from a banana.
– If Jack Bauer saw a terrorist reaching for a bomb to blow himself up, Jack would shoot the bomb first. Nobody steals a kill from Jack Bauer.
– Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.
– The Black Eyed Peas were just The Peas until Jack Bauer heard their music.
– Jack Bauer went out to the desert, and was bitten by a rattlesnake. The snake died.
– If you’re holding a gun to Jack Bauer’s head, don’t count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.
– When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish her vegetables.
– People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
– Once Jack Bauer becomes governor of California, Mexico will have an immigration problem.
– Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That’s why there’s no life on Mars.
– Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.

More facts here.

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Dan Brokeau wrote on November 1st, 2006 at 5:24 AM PST:

I thought that was Chuck Norris.

Thom Holwerda wrote on November 1st, 2006 at 8:22 AM PST:

It was. They just stole it and changed them slightly.

Like I said before, “24″ is not very original.

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