Archive for April, 2005

RE: Jealousy, Passion, Love, Evolution & Reproduction

My previous post made me remember again something I wrote before in this blog, but I think it’s proper to re-write:

When I was about 14 I asked my mother “what’s our purpose in life” and she replied “to have children of course”. I loathed her for that answer because I always thought that while having a family is fantastic, also acquiring true love, knowledge, social status, be happy, making a better life for yourself in general, should be the priority.

Now, having read parts of that book, made me realize that everything boils down to have more children. We THINK that we are looking for love or work hard to gain social status because of this or that, but in REALITY and without REALIZING it, we do it BECAUSE our nature tries to find more potentially suitable partners to procreate. We are PROGRAMMED to have more and more and more children, because at the end, the species’ survival is what matters.

So, my mother, with just 6 years of school and an innocent & ignorant approach to the world was right from the beginning. And I, a 14 year old geek person with hunger for knowledge and success, was doing it all for the wrong reasons without realizing it (no one is actually, it’s part of nature’s game to be a hidden goal).

Think about how nature works: Men like women with big breasts because they’re more likely to successfully raise children. Men like blondes better because as a blonde woman has babies, her hormone balance changes and her hair darkens (some blondes naturally turn to brunettes after having babies). Therefore a blonde is more likely to not have had babies and so be more healthy/fit for procreation. Such a behavior, supposedly a social behavior, is actually a *geneticaly evolved instinct*.

One of our big problems as a race is that language allows us to change our social habits much faster than we can evolve. Obesity as an example wouldn’t be a problem in many species as it would just get evolved away (we’d evolve mechanisms that prevent us from storing too much fat).

Ah, I wish that nature was more straighforward with humans. Instead of hiding its intentions through complex behaviors and complicate our everyday lives, it should just give us direct commands: have children, have children, have children, have children, have children, have children. Just like animals have direct instincts. They aren’t as intelligent as humans, but who said that intelligence is always a big advantage? We live complicated lives because of it.

Jealousy, Passion, Love, Evolution & Reproduction

One of the best things I’ve read in the last few years. It’s the first chapter of “The Dangerous Passion” book which tries to understand jealousy in couples, among other things. It takes a purely scientific approach to the matter (trying to research and explain everything through human evolution that spans thousands of years) rather than the easily-digested series of books like “men are from mars…”. Basically, according to the author, EVERYTHING we do, it boils down to one thing: having more children. Jealousy, passion, affairs, violence, love, infedlity, it’s all about ensuring that we reproduce, even if we are not councious of the true nature of our actions! Funny games that evolution plays with all forms of life (not just humans)!

Use this login/pass if you already don’t have a NYTimes account.

While the author is spot-on in general, I am glad that my life as a married woman does not identify to his negatives examples. My marriage is a very happy one. However, I can identify some of my… parents’ relationship in there. My father, is a very jealous person to my mother, and while I am a lot alike him in many things, I am able to contain my jealousy and not be irrational to my spouce (to my best of ability and knowledge of course ;).

What really caught my eye though, is this part of the book, and will be one of the reasons of why I will buy the book:


Think of a committed romantic relationship that you have now, or that you had in the past. Now imagine that your romantic partner becomes interested in someone else. What would upset or distress you more: (a) discovering that your partner is forming a deep emotional attachment, confiding and sharing confidences with another? or (b) discovering that your partner is enjoying passionate sex with the other person, trying out different sexual positions you had only dreamed about? Both scenarios are distressing, of course, but which one is more distressing?

[…]

The majority of men, however, find the prospect of a partner’s sexual infidelity more agonizing.

[…]

Our ancestral mothers confronted a different problem, the loss of a partner’s commitment to a rival woman and her children. Because emotional involvement is the most reliable signal of this disastrous loss, women key in on cues to a partner’s feelings for other women. A husband’s one-night sexual stand is agonizing, of course, but most women want to know: “Do you love her?” Most women find a singular lapse in fidelity without emotional involvement easier to forgive than the nightmare of another woman capturing her partner’s tenderness, time, and affection. We evolved from ancestral mothers whose jealousy erupted at signals of the loss of love, mothers who acted to ensure the man’s commitment.

How spot on! IF my husband was to cheat on me (not that I expect that of course), my problem would be if he would have an emotional attachment to her. That would kill me. But, having sex, while distressing, I CAN forgive (after putting him through hell first ;). But being in love with another woman, I can’t forgive. I would cut his balls on the spot! 🙂

sleep

once, I saw a greek movie about a couple that were trying to make a living and so the woman was working all day in 2 different jobs and the man all night. They were only seeing each other less than an hour a day.

Kinda what happens with me and my beloved JBQ. He is working and sleeping normal hours, while I am a late night bird and go to bed really late (or early morning, depends how you see it) usually working with my computers. Last night I slept at 6:30 AM again, after watching all night a movie that was on TNT, statring at 3:30 AM.

So this morning we decided to get Netflix so stuff like that don’t happen again. Hopefully, I will be able to watch my movies on normal hours and spend more time with my little hairy squirrel, JBQ. 🙂

William Fichtner wallpapers

Hmm, here I am, feeling like a 16-year old teenager, creating wallpapers for my favorite actor. 😉

These are 1024×768 William Fichtner wallpapers I made tonight from his Equilibrium movie appearance. My God his performance is so great in that movie too! A highly recommended movie!

Wallpaper 1

Wallpaper 2

Wallpaper 3

Wallpaper 4

Wallpaper 5

Tonight I also joined the yahoogroups fan mailing list of William. It’s fun to see other middle-aged women like myself going berzerk about that (also happily married) guy. Haha, look, I am laughing at myself! 😀

Ah, shouldn’t have had so much wine tonight… I think I got a bit drunk actually, we were celebrating my JBQ’s promotion you see. 🙂

Update: And here are 8 more wallpapers, from the Black Hawk Down DVD and documentary:

Wallpaper 6

Wallpaper 7

Wallpaper 8

Wallpaper 9

Wallpaper 10

Wallpaper 11

Wallpaper 12

Wallpaper 13

And here is the batch from “Contact”:

Wallpaper 14

Wallpaper 15

Wallpaper 16

Wallpaper 17

Wallpaper 18

Wallpaper 19

Wallpaper 20

Wallpaper 21

Wallpaper 22

Wallpaper 23

And a last one, from his appearance in ‘Pearl Harbor’ as the dirty abusive father:

Wallpaper 24

Got another column on a printed magazine

So, I will be writing a monthly column for the Greek PC Magazine, starting from the June’s issue. That’s my second column for a printed magazine (I already write the Gnome column for the Linux+ magazine that prints in 5 languages), but I was featured 3-4 times before in the past in other magazines (e.g. UK’s PC Plus, Greece’s RAM, a sweedish tech magazine etc), but this time is again a monthly column. My editor asked me for a… Dvorak-style editorial column this time. Hmm, I am not so sure about that…

As for me leaving OSNews, thank you for your supporting emails. I am still seriously thinking of it. In any case I would keep my monthly columns in the printed magazines (makes my mom proud ;), but I had too much of the online reporting, the constant battle with the instant feedback wears you out.

I emailed my local college about Astronomy 101 and 103 classes, but they haven’t replied back yet (and I need to get the damn California driving license first too :o).

Another promotion for my beloved husband

So, my JBQ is now a Software Architect in the company he’s working for. Congrats my love! 🙂

Updated homepage

A few years late, but I now have an updated home page. I changed a tiny bit the look, and added new bits of info here and there.

William Fichtner as ‘Dr Kent Clark’

Fan question: “Of all the characters that you have played so far, which character would you like to play again in another film so as to be able to continue to explore him?”

William Fichtner: Kent Clark in ‘Contact’. Great question.

I would love to see a movie exploring that character further too.

Survey Reveals Americans Support Blog Censorship

This is the first time in my life that I feel compelled to link to Goatse.cx in response to this survey.

the future

I am thinking of leaving osnews, gnomefiles and the like. I might only keep my new monthly column on the Greek PC Magazine, but I might drop everything else (including the European Linux+ magazine I write every month for). I am just BORED like hell. I did benews, osnews and all the rest because it was fun. It ain’t fun anymore, it is a boring industry with very few real innovations happening, so why keep doing all the things I do and make it feel like a job without even getting paid? I had enough of it all these years, I am ready for something new.

I think my next big thing might be astronomy (or a baby, depends…). I always wanted to learn more about our universe, I might even go back to college and study about it. My only setback is that math is not one of my strongest qualities…