Sex and Love: two different things

I am flat-out against ‘relationships’ that involve more than two people. I believe that exclusivity is a good thing on a relationship, it creates indimacy that makes people more comfortable with each other.

The reason I write this is because this ‘multi-person relationship’ is the case with an old friend of mine and his fiance (which I will keep anonymous of course). The guy was virgin almost until he was 26 (nerd and all), and when he finally got laid, all hell broke lose (libido over-production? ;). The guy now is turned on primarily with two women in his bed, and his fiancee is a bisexual, so she endorses the idea.

You can argue that “as long both agree on doing this, what’s your problem?”. Well, my problem is not the act itself, they are free to do whatever they want of course, my problem is when they call the act “love, between three people”.

Sorry, but I don’t buy this claim and that’s the reason why I write about it on my blog. What they do is raw sex, not love (and that’s absolutely fine of course). But I don’t buy that claim that ‘this is love’ when it involves more than two people (granded, there are many ways of loving someone). And I don’t believe that “my understanding of love is limited”. But I do believe that people can create their own distortion fields around them, just so they feel safe and comfortable with their own choices.

My friend, if you do love that third person, as per your claims, and you end up having sex/love with her the same way you do to your fiancee (at the same time, no less), why the hell don’t you get engaged to her too? You can change your religion if Christianity is your problem in doing so (and you currently pass yourself as a devoted Christian to others (!)).

Sure, people sometimes get a bit attracted to other people every now and then, at workplace or in their social circle, it’s only natural after all, but that doesn’t mean that they have to fuck these people in the first opportunity. When you are with someone, you are with that someone and you need to keep it clean. That’s how relationships that last are built: friendship, trust & devotion. If you can’t keep it that way, don’t get engaged/married.

Personally, when I am with someone, I give him my 100%, and I expect the same from him too (and yes, I am very lucky to have such a great husband).

That’s my opinion. Yeah, call me old fashioned. I certainly am.

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